September 17, 2003
terror and anxiety
I'm testing tomorrow for my yellow belt and it's all I can currently think about. I'm scared.Jay has 6 nights off starting tonight, which will be really wonderful. I'm very excited about this.
I'm weighing in tonight at Weight Watchers and I don't think I'm going to like the results.
I'm going through something, and I'm not sure I like what it says about me. I have a friend, Amy, whom I've mentioned here. She's my best friend, the one who just had her wedding. Well, we've known each other since high school. She has another best friend, Stacey, who lives in Washington, where Amy's dad lives. Now, Stacey is moveing here to start a new job, and is going to live with Amy and Dana for a little while, while she gets on her feet. She couldn't find any work in Seattle. I'm very nervous about this. Don't get me wrong. I love Stacey. She and I know each other through Amy, and I don't have a problem with her in the least. This isn't about her. I'm worried about her being here, that I'm going to not be important to Amy anymore. I've always felt in my secret heart of hearts that I was the "replacement friend" - since she lived out of town. In fact, that's exactly what I WAS during the wedding. Since she was out of state, I did most of the Maid (matron in my case) of Honor duties, since Stacey couldn't from where she was. I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend. And I feel very small for thinking that way. This move is good for Stacey. She's starting a very good job, and is going to have the opportunity to get financially secure before moving into her own place, and Amy is going to finally live in the same town as her oldest friend in the whole wide world. So why do I feel like I'm going to be left out in the cold? No one has given me that impression at all. It's all in my head, and I know this, and yet I can't help but feel the dread building up.
Serving sizes vary so much from label to label. What food has a serving size that really surprises you, or what food really challenges you to stick with it's serving size?
Some of the cereals, the more high fiber ones, surprise me in a good way. I can have more than I thought I could. What really challenges me though - pasta. A serving is one cup. This isn't enough for me personally for pasta. It is really my trigger food. Big time. I have to save up my points, or whatever, so that I can just have as much as I want. Otherwise, I have to comepletely stay away from it. One cup? Ha! That's a snack.
