August 21, 2002
8/21
I wanted to write an entry, but I don't know how far I'll get. Logan's going to wake up any minute now.Logan had another cardiologist appointment today. Overall he's doing well. The echocardiogram definitely showed a bicuspid valve. We already knew this, but it was much easier to see, since he's bigger now. There's no leakage into the ventricle, which is good, since there was a little bit last month. The gradient of the stinosis hasn't changed, which is good - so the prognosis on that front is still wait on surgery. However, the electrocardiogram revealed something called left ventricular hypertrophy. Basically the left ventricle is working so hard that the muscle of the ventricle is getting bigger, and thicker. Just like if you were to work out your arms hard, the muscle would get bigger. The doctor said that this is to be expected, but she wants to keep an eye on it. Which means he has another appointment in 2 months, instead of starting the every 6 month checkups. I think she wants to do that because last month, it was perfectly normal, and it shot up so much that the little points on the graph were so high that they were actually overlapping the ones on the next line. So, she said that overall he's doing well, and there's no need to worry. She just wants to make sure the muscle doesn't get to the point that there's no flexibility (or room to be flexible) for pumping through that ventricle. But, so far, we're still waiting on that potential surgery. We will eventually need to replace the valve. We're just waiting to see as to when. If he needs it done while still a child, they'll actually move the pulmonary valve (the one to the lungs), and create a different flow of blood. But if he's a late teen, or adult, then they'll go ahead and give him an artificial valve. They want to wait as long as they can, because 1) the artifical one's aren't made small enough right now and 2) they don't grow. Which means he'd have to have a new surgery every time he outgrew the artificial valve, which only creates more scar tissue etc. But he's doing fine. We're supposed to treat him as we would our other son (doctor's words). Sometimes that's hard, when he really throws a tizzy and turns purple with rage. The thought goes through my mind "that can't be good for his heart!". I have to force myself to treat him like any other little boy that's just mad at something, instead of coddling him. It's a hard line to toe. But his heart condition (have I have said what he has? Aortic Valve Stinosis, with a Bicuspid Valve) isn't the kind where he'll suddenly turn blue and stop breathing. His is something you'd see more in his growth pattern and such. So, they ask and make sure that he's not getting exhausted or sweating when he's doing something like eating. I was so proud of him... No fussiness that a bottle couldn't cure. He even squeezed a few smiles out.
I tried signing the kids up for Kid's Club today. But they wanted $35 per child to sign them up. I can't afford $70! So that's going to have to wait. And Amy can't watch the kids this weekend, so this whole house cleaning thing is going to have to wait. Again.
The following contains information in the "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" category. You've been warned
As I have mentioned before, I have two uteruses, with 2 cervixes. In the vaginal canal, I have a septum that comes down about halfway down. Or I used to. Since I had Logan, sex with Jay is painful, and when it's not painful, it's just weird. Like things are going where they're not supposed to. I felt down there while I was washing, and I could feel the septum. While rinsing, it was right there, when usually up inside. So I had Jay feel (after all, he feels around in there more than I do), and his comment was "when's your next appointment", which I translated into "something's not right down there". So, I have an appointment this coming Monday. I certainly don't want to go through life being tense about sex - wondering if it's going to hurt or not. So. I also am going to talk to them about birth control. I certainly don't want to use condoms for the rest of my life, and right now, that's all that's open to me. But there's a new kind of monthly shot, which is mostly progesterone. You see it's the estrogen that causes migraines (I was having so many - one every two days - that they took me off the pills in fear I would have a stroke). So, perhaps I can try this new shot. I'm hoping that will work. Condoms break. Granted mistakes happen with medication too, but not as many. And I'm not even going to think about more kids for at least 3 years. I don't want any more, and Jay wants two more, so we decided to wait at least 3 years before even thinking about it. And if/when we decide not to have any more, Jay will have a vasectomy. That was his idea not mine. I already have enough reproductive system difficulties, and he doesn't want me to have anything else down there, that's not necessary. But, I came up with the three years waiting period (at least), because sterilization is SO final. And I'm only 27. Who knows how I'll feel later on.
