August 20, 2002
8/20
I haven't lost any weight in the last 3 weeks. I haven't gained either, so I guess that's at least a good thing. I hate the way I look right now, but at least I'm not going the other way.Preparations are underway for me to go back to work. We are extremely busy with things like dentist appointments, and picture appointments for the kids and such. The thinking being that I won't be able to take time off work for a while to do these things. That's all fine and good, and we're getting stuff done, so that is a good thing. We've got something going on every single day for the next week, and probably more to come. The only thing I'm unable to do so far is housecleaning. I CANNOT CLEAN! If it's not Logan (he's rather high maintenance in the attention department) it's Joseph. You see, he throws a tizzy if I pick anything up. Apparently, he put it there for a reason, and it is forboden to move it. And then Jay is sleeping, of course, for work. A friend of mine was supposed to take the kids for the whole day so I could clean from top to bottom (for some reason the thought of starting work without a clean house is apalling to me) but she got sick this last weekend, and she has plans for the weekends coming up before I start. I found someplace in Pasadena called kids connection, who do babysitting on evenings and weekend days (they're a daycare center, so the weekdays are off limits). It's $35 to register and fill out the application, which has to be done at least 2 days before you plan to use them. Then, you have to call with your arrival and departure times at least 24 hours in advance. It's $6 an hour (per kid I'm assuming), and frankly that's not a bad price. The kids at the high school are charging $8 per hour. I've really got to go register them, so that maybe I can do that this weekend. My parents can only handle Logan for about an hour or so at a time. He starts crying, they can't stop it, and they go nuts. Why they don't listen to me and rock him in the rocking chair, I don't know. That's how I do. I'm just the mother here. Anyway, I'm thinking I'm going to have to use this service, if I really want to get my house clean.
Once I start work, I'm going to have to get up at 5am. I won't start work until 9am, but Joseph is too young to let loose in the house for my shower, and I need to shower and get ready, so I'm going to have to get up that early to get it in. This should get really interesting.
I'm feeling better about this whole work thing. And Jay seems to be better with things. He's going to try to get Saturday nights off regularly, so that we can go to church. And we're going to try to find another church. We're not comfortable at the one we go to now (when we go) and so we think we should find another home church, so that we actually want to go. There's another church of our "denomination" (it's a non-denominational Bible based church, but there's a "chain" of them, and I don't know what to call it) in Pasadena, which isn't too far, so we may try there.
Joseph and his daddy are going to be starting baseball. Joseph is only 2 years old, but the youth group here has a "tot" program, where the parent actually is next to them helping them. Jay got all excited, and it's in the morning early enough that Jay can still sleep. We could afford the $120, so Jay called his dad and asked him to "sponsor" Joseph. Greg jumped at that :) He was always involved with sports, and he was always coaching whatever group Jay was involved with. So, Jay is going to do this with him. I think it's great. They have a special connection, and I'll admit to being a bit jealous of it at times. But I'm very happy that they have that relationship. Jay hasn't had many close relationships in his life, so the fact that he has one with his son, even if his son is only two, is very special. Somehow, Jay is able to get on his level, where I can't seem to. My old boss told me that I don't know how to play - and I think she's right. I was always a very serious child, so it's no surprise. I never had toys, I had books. Don't get me wrong, I loved reading, but I didn't have many friends, and no kids lived on my street, so I kind of became a loner. So, this exuberant play that Joseph has is a little beyond me, and I don't know how to participate. But I think that is okay, as long as I don't try to impose MY seriousness on Joseph. So I try to encourage his imagination, and his play, even if I don't know how to participate. So far, that's working.
Other than the frustration at not getting anything done around here, I think I'm in a better mental state of mind.
