July 4, 2001
7/4
Sometimes my husband can really annoy me. We were supposed to go to this fair and fireworks show at a nearby high school. He knew about this. He was excited about this. He wouldn't get out of bed. I can't tell you how annoying this is. He has to sleep during the day, 'cause he works nights. Fine. But he knew he was supposed to get up for this. It would be the 1st time that Joseph would have seen fireworks. It was supposed to be some family time, since he hasn't had a day off in 2 weeks. Yadda Yadda Yadda. He wouldn't get up. I'm not about to trek a stroller, child, blanket, and all the trappings that go with watching fireworks with a toddler all by myself. Besides, it wouldn't have been the same.I shouldn't be upset about this. I really shouldn't. But I am. He must have needed his sleep, but I'm upset just the same. Then, when he gets up, he wants to go watch fireworks somewhere else. Uh, not at 9pm, with Joseph still needing his bath, and bottle, and go to bed. I don't think so. So, he acts all wounded. Whatever. I even made him dinner.
He's done this before. When we were living with my in-laws, we planned a date night. It would be the first time for a date night in a month. It would literally be the first date night, alone, without Joseph, and without his parents there in a month. We were vastly looking forward to this. After I tried to wake him up for the 6th time I gave up. These kinds of things really hurt my feelings. They make me feel unimportant. They make me give his words less credence. I think I'll stop trying to do anything anymore, that he will have to sleep for first. It's just not worth it to me. I don't need to feel these things.
It's a little bit later now. I talked to Jay, and he understands how ticked I was. We've decided not plan anything in the future the entails him sleeping before, unless it's a full 8 hours. I didn't pull any punches either. Which is unusual for me. I'm one of those people who fights completely fair, and in addition, I'll usually downplay what I really want to say a little bit in an attempt to not hurt the other person's feelings. I didn't do that his time. 4th of July comes once a year. It was a family event for our little family. And he blew it. I let him have it. It may sound trite, or petty, or like I'm not giving my husband enough leeway for sleep etc. But you know what? I do everything around here. I do all the cooking, cleaning, baby care, anything that happens inside this house happens because I do it. In exchange, Jay is the only one who works. I let him sleep when he wants, for as long as he wants. I have an incredibly screwy schedule, trying to accomodate him, on a night schedule, and Joseph on a day schedule, and me walking a line in between. Frankly, I think asking for one family outing on a day that happens once a year, with pyrotechnics in the air that would be beyond amazing for a 14 month old to see, is NOT too much to ask. So I talked it out with Jay. He agreed with me. We'll just make a conscious effort not to put ourselves in this potentially disasterous situation again.
In other news... I have a great-great-uncle that will be turning 93 this Saturday. Uncle Rex hasn't seen me in about 10 years. And I want him to meet Joseph. He's going downhill... My father talked to him today. He mentioned that it was the 4th of July, and Uncle Rex thought it was July 4, 1918. My dad told him about going to Missouri to visit Aunt Opal (Uncle Rex's sister-in-law) and Uncle Rex said in reply, "Good, thanks, why don't you send a copy to me". My dad's reaction to that was, "huh?" Then, My dad talked to Max (Uncle Rex's son), and it turns out that Uncle Rex called him and asked to speak to Era. Era was Rex's wife... The one who died 20 years ago. Needless to say, he's going downhill. WHich is understandable for a 93 year old man. He doesn't have Alzheimers or anything like that. He's just getting old (or is old), and I think all his memories are sort of fading together. That's why I want him to meet Joseph. He has always had a particular affection for me. He wrote me letters when my parents didn't even know where I was, during a bad time in my life. He will probably die before Joseph is old enough to have memories of him. But I want Rex to have some memories of Joseph. There's just something about a small child, that makes people happy. It makes people remember their own kids. It makes people remember what it was like to be a child. It'll make Rex happy.
Unless of course, Joseph bites him.
