July 18, 2000
7/18
Well, my mother and father have left, and I lived. It wasn't too bad after all. And, I got some clothes that fit now, which feels really good.We don't know where God is leading us. Jay knows that God wants him to upgrade his discharge. Okay fine. What we don't know is what else to do. One option would be for me to try and find a job that would support us, while Jay goes to school. The theory being: Jay gets some education enough to get a job to support us so I can keep our home and stay home with the kids. So, I would support him til he was able to support us. He has interest in CAD programming among other things, so it could be a good idea. He would have to go to night school, but there are certain programs that would be great. Master's Institute is one options. So's ITT Tech. We tried to go down this route before, but we couldn't get grants or financial aid. They looked at our income tax statements from 3 years before, as a married couple. We didn't even know each other at that time, had different jobs... They didn't care about that. But at least a year has gone by, so maybe now we would qualify. After all, Jay has a family, and a son.
I certainly would have to leave my current position. I am a missionary in a non=profit organization. How in the world would that work? We live in the 3rd most difficult place to live in the U.S. But, the other half of that is: if I went into the for-profit industry, I could make a lot more money for what I'm doing.
AND, we don't know what God wants us to do. We know that changes are coming. We know Jay is supposed to upgrade his discharge. Other than that, we're not sure which route to take. I guess I could start sending out resumes.... Just ask God to let the perfect job land in my lap if that's what He wants me to do. If not, not get any replies. That could work. The Bible says that it's okay to test things to make sure they're of God. I've seen wondrous things by asking God to prove Himself to me. I don't have a lack of faith in Him. I know that He'll provide. I know that He has a plan. My problem is me. I never know whether it's of Him or of me. I'm always afraid that I want something so badly that I'm thinking it's God's plan for me.
I guess I'll just have to be patient, and send out resumes. If God wants me somewhere, then he'll let me know that.
