May 12, 2000
5/12
Joseph is one month old today! Happy Birthday BooBerry! I've been able to get him to sleep longer in his bassinet... This afternoon I went in to check on him. His dad was asleep too - so I got to check on "my boys". This surge of love just expanded in my chest. They were both sleeping so peacefully. I love them so much. Of course, I woke Jay up to tell him. I had to have SOMEONE to share the moment with... He barely woke up, in fact I thought he hadn't. I whispered that I loved him, and he whispered back, half asleep, that he loved me too. It was just one of those moments.I'm feeling pretty darn good, anyway... I got some. No, I didn't wait the prescribed 6 weeks. I only waited 4. Do you think I care? Ha! I'm extremely happy about this. 1) Jay still is turned on by me. Extremely. 2) Nothing fell off, or in any other way worked "wrong". 3) I still CAN!!! I was seriously getting down on my attractiveness, and all that. You spend nine months (or at least I did) with one body part or another not working... now that they all work together again, it's wonderful. By the way - It was GREAT sex too.
Back on the neighbor rant... It might just be my opinion, but I think a child who no longer has any trouble walking, is getting too big for his toddler bike, who speaks in full sentences, and who you can tell to go get a diaper so he can get changed... He needs to be using the toilet. Again, that's just my opinion. I mean, he got in TROUBLE for not bringing his diaper to get changed. What the hell is that??? I'm telling you this family is weird. And they have another on the way. I find all this very scary. Granted, some children take longer than others, but come on. He's at least 3 1/2 - might even be 4 years old. I'll tell you this... Better her than me. Joseph is only a month old and has powerful diapers. And he's on a liquid diet!!
Speaking of Joseph, we had an awful, simply awful night last night. He stayed up, and was either just plain awake, or full fledged screaming until 6 this morning. ALL NIGHT. Needless to say, I was getting pretty cranky. I saw myself getting meaner and meaner. I was losing my patience. And all the while feeling terribly guilty about it. He's a BABY. All he knows is that he's unhappy, or hurts, and I'm not fixing it. But I'm not surprised. After all, sleep deprivation is used as a torture device during war time. It also can be used to drive someone insane...
Maybe that's my excuse...
