April 27, 2006
i did it
I did it. I wrote my little sister, and little brother, and potential father at all the addresses found for all of them. We'll see if they answer. But I did it, I wrote them.April 26, 2006
fear
I've come up on a block. I don't knwo what the problem is. Through my searching and several search angels, I've come upon some good address contact info for my two younger siblings, and possibly even the older sister.I haven't written them.
I'm scared. I feel like I'm going into a panic attack. I'm trying to calm myself down because I don't HAVE to write them. Only if I want to. But I DO want to. So why aren't I?
I know some of the reasons on my older sister. I don't know the legalities, since I didn't get the information through whatever agency. I don't even know if she knows she was adopted. I don't want to cause problems there.
As for the younger two... Sheer fear of rejection. I'm scared.
I'm scared.
April 25, 2006
mishmash
I have no idea why I'm writing. I have nothing much to say, but I feel the urge to write.I start my new church's women's Bible study tonight. I'm really excited! I've been called twice. Once by the pastor's wife, and then another time today but Jay didn't write it down. Anyway - they actually have it where a working woman can actually go.
We moved the TV out of the kids room. No more movies before bed. No more all day all weekend movies. I'm sick of it. And what happens? They went to actual sleep 20 minutes after their stories. Praise God and Hallelujia. And they still woke at the same time. Which means they got more sleep. Joseph was good this morning. Do you think all his problems may have occurred to to lack of sleep? Something as little as maybe an hour? But the kind of cool part is I now have a tv. One that I can watch DVD's on while Jay's obsessing over the xbox. I don't have to bed once a week so I can see something I'm interested in.
April 22, 2006
progress
I've been making progress in my searching. I think I may have valid address for my younger siblings. They just feel right. They might not be current however. I'm going to write them anyway and see.I'm also going to be filing for the NID of my older sister, as well as filing a waiver in her adoption file.
The waiver will take me a little while - I have to find a notary, and the time to take it to the notary. - Not to mention the notary's fee.
This is all good news though - Progress!
Check this out... If you look at the pictures, to me it's just sick. Talk about stupid privilege. I mean come on... A golden buggy with chandelier? I know it's meant to be funny, but still.
April 21, 2006
busy busy busy
I am not a social butterfly.When I get off work, all I want to do is go home. I don't particularly like people. In fact, Jay ususally does all the errands - he happens to like people. But now:
- Bible study at church on Tuesday nights starts next week.
- Amy wants to do Weight Watchers, but won't go alone, and will actually pay for me to go with her. Friday nights, starting in a couple of weeks.
- Bowling League Secretary. Yeah. That was my reaction too. My mom has been in bowlings leagues for, oh, about a century or so, and is the treasurer. The secretary is leaving over a salary dispute. I may take over. It would be about an extra $800 ever 16 weeks, which I could use to put towards debt. But it happens Monday nights.
Did I mention I should probably see my family, clean house, dinner, and the other household administrative tasks that are mine, plus our side business?
It hasn't even started yet, and I'm tired. Thank God for these - as long as I take them, I feel a lot better. I just have to remember to take them. Ha.
April 20, 2006
again
You know how I mentioned a breakthrough yesterday? Ha! Had to be picked up again for violence.sigh.
April 19, 2006
spf
yes i am indeed posting 2 days early... i keep remembering to post my pics ohhhhh, around sunday. I'm gonna play this week darnit.
Stuff Portrait Friday: April 21st, 2006 - Your Initials
1. You take your first initial and take a picture of something�
My work MMMMMMMMMicrowave.
2. Middle initial - Yep, now take a picture of something that starts with your middle initial
My kkkkkkkkkkeys. Along with the best keychain of all time.
3. Last name initial - Yes�it�s this easy!
My wwwwwwwwork wwwwwwwater glass.
April 19, 2006
tidbits
I think I may have had a breakthrough with Joseph this morning. I'm not going to get into the specifics right now, I'm too raw from it to rehash it, but suffice it to say he actually showed emotions about someone else. Real emotions, and remorse. And then proceeded to offer comfort, even though those emotions made him cry. This is such a big deal.In other Joseph news, we're moving on to psychological testing. Which is going to take a while - so long a while that any actions we take will probably be in the next school year, but as long there are answers, I'm okay with taking it slower with him.
I talked with one man I tracked down as a possibility for my father. It's a no go. He's never been called "Mickey" and the age was about 10 years off. I was not disappointed, so I don't know if that makes me unfeeling, or what. The search marches on...
Yesterday was my anniversary. Jay came to work and we had a lovely lunch. Lookie:
