March 26, 2006

all i want for Christmas...

Joseph lost another tooth. Now he's missing his two front teeth. Oh my - he has a lisp.

0 comments so far

10:39 a.m.

March 24, 2006

journaling joseph & misc.

I really need to sit down and write out a list/journal/tract of Joseph's activities, so I can share with various doctors. I just don't have it in me to rehash all the meanness right now. And I know I need to.

Perhaps I'll do it in a journal entry here, and just add as necessary with the edit function.

In other news (or not) I've not heard anything from Jeannette. Either she is or she isn't and my jumping at the mail/emails is not going to help matters. ugg. There's support out there for adoptees, but I don't technically fall into that category. I wonder if there is support out there for adult abandoned children? I must research.

0 comments so far

9:42 p.m.

March 24, 2006

no to family beds!

I did not sign up for a family bed. When I was researching parenting before we had children, I specifically remember telling Jay I did not want a family bed. I am purely selfish. I love my pillow, I love my space, or else I cannot sleep.

The kids (and cat), however, disagree.

This morning, my head was hanging off the bed, and it was just a matter of time before the rest of me would follow.

There's a reason I go to a chiropractor, people.

0 comments so far

9:56 a.m.

March 23, 2006

the bad seed?

My son lacks any empathy whatsoever. I don't know how to give it to him. He doesn't care that someone is hurt emotionally or physically by his actions, he cares that he got in trouble.

I feel like I'm raising the bad seed.

My other son is the very antithesis of that. Full of affection, and sorry when he hurts someone.

I don't understand what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong.

I don't understand anything anymore.

0 comments so far

8:11 p.m.

March 21, 2006

Letter, yes

Well, I thought about it. I talked to mom. I'm sending the letter to Jeannette, with some small edits tomorrow.

We'll just have to wait and see. The way I see it, I've done what I can to get answers to my questions, since I really have no desire to meet with her in person, and I'm satisfied with that.

0 comments so far

6:41 p.m.

March 21, 2006

Joseph, oh Joseph

So, I've had to put off my personal drama about Jeannette in order to focus once again on Joseph. He is having such a terribly difficult time. He seems to cycle between good and bad weeks, and lately we're in the bad weeks.

Yesterday, he informed a teacher that he wanted to kill himself. She asked him how (?!) and he explained, very matter-of-factly that his friend Jack's parents had a real gun, and he was going to bring it to school tomorrow (today) so Joseph could shoot himself in the head.

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

So, I took the day off work today. I spent 45 minutes on the phone with his psychiatrist (I can't believe I just typed that sentence. He's 5.) and he said he wasn't too worried about what he said, as he doesn't get that concept until about 7 years of age. He was more concerned about the other child bringing the gun. As was I. Spent another two hours in the office with the principal and the school psychologist. We're going to be looking into Asperger's Syndrome with the other potential diagnoses we're looking into.

Joseph's also getting a 6th grade mentor to help with his homework so he's not doing it so late at night after school, since the daycare won't help him with it.

They (the principal) also wanted me to take Joseph straight to his classroom and wait for the class there, since he's such a problem on the playground. I had a few issues with that, which I voiced. 1. I would then be late everyday to work - I need to keep my job in order to pay for the psychiatric care. 2. He thinks everyone hates him, and this just propagates that. 3. Excuse me, isn't the school supposed to be supervising him, and the district trying to find a solution instead? The psychologist agreed with me, and not the principal, so they're going to be brainstorming today about another possible solution to his misbehavior in line, and call me today.

The more I look at Asperger's the more it seems to make sense. I called and left a message for the psychiatrist, in order to see if that might be the possibility, and test (how?) for that as well.

We're also still waiting on the cat scan.

I threw out my back, my head feels like it's gonna implode, and I just don't know how to be a good mother at this point.

The one bright spot in all of this?? Asperger's doesn't require medication, but occupational therapy, which would mean getting back into the good graces of the in-laws. Isn't that sad?

0 comments so far

11:34 a.m.