December 07, 2004

don't ask.

So I'm back at home in my jammies after spending the morning testing at one place, and interviewing at another. Both went well, thank you for asking... I passed the testing, which means I'll now be actually looked at as a possibility for the position, Department Secretary for the Cardiology Department at a hospital near my home. A subject near and dear to my heart given Logan's condition. The other was for a financial lending firm. They want me to come back to actually interview for the person I would be working for. That one's an Executive Assistant position.

Which brings me to a timely long coming rant on the "interview process."

First, the testing. Excuse me, the "skills assessment." Do you know how many Excel/Word/Outlook/PowerPoint/Access/general-you-thought-the-SATs-were-over tests I've taken in the last two months? Oh My God. Which brings me to the question of - How the hell did you think I spent 15 years in this profession, working my way to the top of my profession, without learning this stuff? My tested skills are between 90% and 100%. And that includes software I've never opened, such as Access, because, frankly, MicroSoft uses the same interface for everything. So. I tested online and I tested higher than 95% of all it's other testers. Ever. So. The testing really gets my goat, because I'm turning my wheels and jumping through hoops. Oh and NOW they'll consider me, which means now I have to fill out another everything-but-a-rectal-exam application. For the priviledge of a "we'll call you if we want you to interview."

Now the interviews. I hate suits. I hate pantyhose. I hate high heels. I have to wear a combination of all combined for an interview. Enough said.

And last but not least, the credit report. Excuse me, "consumer history report." My background, did I lie about graduating, sure check that. I understand that. Did I really work there? I understand that. Criminal check, I totally understand. Am I going to go postal? Do I make a habit of stealing money? Totally understand. References? Sure. Get that. However, why someone might list someone who would give you a bad reference is beyond me. HOWEVER - my credit is none of your God Damned business and never will be. The only people who should be concerned about my credit are for cars, houses, and renting. That's it. It has absolutely NO bearing no whether or not I am a good employee, skilled, a shining example administrative acumen. Do you care why it looks that way? NO! Do you give a shit that my husband was in the grocery strike for 8 months? NO! And you know what? It's none of your business, and keep your nose out of my financial affairs. What gives you the right, almighty employer, to deign what is and is not acceptable?

That's the one that really gets my goat.

I've also been asked all the no-no questions. Am I a Christian? Am I married? Do I have children? How's my child care situation? Will your family interfere in your overtime availability? These questions are all illegal, by the way. What I should probably say is: I'll go to whatever worshipful institution you deam politically correct. I'm single. My favorite pastime is rushing home from work and waiting with bated breath for my boss to call and say he needs me.

I am so sick and tired of looking for a job.

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2:27 p.m.