January 21, 2004
no blushing
I would do a real update, but I'm not sure I want to think about life right now.Jay and I are still doing really bad financially, since it'll be another couple of weeks before we see a paycheck. I owe almost $6000 to my parents due to the strike.
Logan is turning into a little butterball all of a sudden, all chubby, and heavy. And I'm so thankful for that - remember the kid was at a -3%growth rate. But he won't say, "Mommy" or any variation thereof. He'll be 2 in May. I'm finding it difficult to not be hurt.
Jay and I have been trying to be more flirtatious with each other. This is difficult, because I don't know how, any extra attention put on me causes me to blush and stammer and stutter. Literally. And I've got a very voracious appatite sexually, and yet, am too embarrassed to ask for or take what I want. And subtle things go WAY over Jay's head. So, we're trying to get me to open up a little and be less stiffled with him. We're just now doing this almost 6 years of marriage and 2 kids later. But he knows "I've got an inner sarcastic kinky bitch" in me - and am just afraid to let her out. He watched me punch a nurse and kick a doctor in the face during our first childbirth. He's watched me kick and punch through boards in TKD. He's heard me and my mouth during the actual ACT. But try to flirt with me, and I look at my toes, blush, and giggle. Mainly because I can't think of a thing to say back. We're working on that. He says he doesn't know a smarter, more sexual woman, and wants me to "play" more. In all ways. He says I'm too serious. So, we're working on it. I don't know if it's working or not. My first boss I had right after we got married was around during the pregnancy and and about 6 months after. When I told her I was pregnant, she said, "Good. Maybe you'll learn how to play". There was another girl who worked with me in the department who was very, I guess shy. It turns out, she was scared of me. I found this out later, as we became friends. Why are we friends now? Because after hours, Jay came to pick me up from work, and caught his reflection in the glass of the building, and started dancing. Because he was wearing gigantic mouse slippers on his feet, and wanted to make them dance. She came to me to tell me about the weirdo (remember it was after hours), and I proceeded to tell her it was okay - he was mine. We became friends after that because she decided someone that was married to THAT wasn't so scary.
So - Jay and I decided we're not going to let me be so serious anymore. Michele is going to flirt with her husband. She's going to have fun with him.
Or die of embarrassment trying.
Seriously though - Any advice on flirting is really WANTED. Help Me!
Stolen from Cricket:
What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Sean
What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Grey jersey bikini. My "comfy, i don't feel good" undies.
What is the song you want played at your funeral?
I haven't a clue. I don't even know that I want one. When I read that question, I've got two visions... "Oh, Danny Boy" for my friend's father (who's name was Dan) at his funeral, and more recently, the horrible singer at my uncle's funeral and looking down at my 3-yr-old (who'd been threatened with bodilly harm should he speak out loud during the services) and seeing him with his hands over his ears. The funeral director was in the back with us - you never know when you have to ditch quick with kids - and he was crying. No, not for my uncle, whom he didn't know, but because he saw Joseph, and was crying with the effort to not let anyone else know he was laughing... Perhaps I won't have any music at all.
What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Steak, with ceasar salad, bread, and fettucine alfredo on the side.
Beatles or Stones?
Both.
If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
There are so many. I firmly believe in eye for an eye in the legal sense, and have seen so many stories on the news recently on crimes against children, and all those criminals' faces are swimming in front of my eyes at the moment.
The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
Jennifer at work. I used to not mind, but have since changed my mind.
What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
I can only think of Jay when you mention that, so, his eyes are very powerful. And his back, in a t-shirt. And he's got GREEAT guy legs. And the arms. Sorry. I am very attracted to my husband.
If you could have any super power what would it be?
Read selective people's minds.
Favorite hangover cure?
Greasy fast food.
How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Ha. Double ha. As I get older, I get easier and easier on the alcohol. Hmmm. The other night it took one shot of tequila, and 4 glasses of champagne. But I never drink anymore (that was Dave's birthday party), so I really felt it after the first shot.
Favorite Outkast lyric?
Don't listen to Outkast. But I think they're the ones who do the polaroid picture song. Jay is wont to tell me to "shake, shake, shake, shake it".
Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
Couldn't care less.
If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf.
Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Hmm. I have a history of child abuse, sexual and otherwise, as well as having been raped twice and beat up in an attempted rape once. I don't know who my biological father is (and neither does my biological mother - I'm a John's kid - she took customers home from her stripping job), my mother left without a word when I was 4, and I have some weird birth defects. I've lost two babies before they were born. Needless to say, I've got a lot of baggage. I'm a bit of a control freak, and lose it a little when there is change. And I'm insecure about my physical looks. But I've never been diagnosed with anything, nor been on any medication. The two times I've been seriously depresssed, I found my way out of it. That was the long answer. Short answer: Probably.
Siblings that should go to rehab?
LOL. Oh My God. Um - all of them, including the in-law versions.
Least favorite month?
June.
First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
Scarface. Yes, ladies and gentlman, my mother is a freak. I believe I was 4.
Favorite person in the whole world?
Jay.
When's the last time you went on a date?
Um. Well. Huh. Our trip to Vegas a year ago?
Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Dirty. Jay says that for a normal wife and mother, I'm truly a nympho at heart - but hey - he married me, so what does that say about him?
Fall or spring?
Fall.
If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Joelle.
Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Not Florida.
Who is the person you can count on most?
Jay.
If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors?
Are we talking a one-night-stand kind of date, or are we talking intellectual coffee kind of date?
What books have you pretended you've read?
Um - why?
What's a word you would use to describe your life?
chaos.
What did you dream last night?
I don't know. I was too busy removing the 3 year old elbow from my ribs, and the knee from my kidney.
Favorite bands?
Depeche Mode.
And no, I'm not in 7th grade anymore.
