January 12, 2004

answered prayers?

Life is pretty on edge around here. Seriously. Dude. This enter-expletive-here is the kind that ulcers are made of. So, Jay and I were talking about how over time God has sort of faded out of the picture for us. And how I've been mad at Him. And about how it's possible this is all going on to draw us closer to Him. We decided to go to church on Sunday. We still don't particularly like the church. But it is Bible based, and for us, on a theological standpoint, that's what's important - that and they treat the kids well in the nursery. The message on Sunday was poignant to us, and our current troubles (trials and tribulations, if you will). And I've been praying more. I haven't been praying lately, because I simply couldn't. Quite literally, "Hi God - " and then I'd blank. I'd feel this desperate feeling I can only characterize as "HELP!" in an emotion. But I couldn't articulate what I was feeling, or anything else for that matter.

Today a few things happened. First, we found out that Dave did indeed cross the picket line. Jay talked to him. It basically came down to cross, or lose his house. He chose to cross. Jay began thinking in those lines, talked to me, talked to my parents, talked to his parents, talked to Dave again, talked to some store managers... And decided.

Jay is going to cross the picket line.

Please don't email me any negative comments. We already feel like sell-outs. Sell-outs who haven't paid 4 months worth of rent or utilites, who have friends who are going to lose their homes, who are about to have collectors calling the house, and who haven't found another job after searching for over a month. We're not qualified for government assistance, unemployment, or disability.

So Jay has made this decision, and it will mean a paycheck coming in. Of course, that's going to come with all kinds of other backlash. But the fact is, he's going to be quitting to start a new career in, hopefully, 3 months. We're still working out all the kinks, and we have to file legal paperwork to keep the union from suing us etc.

Ugg.

But we consider it a prayer answered.

And I got a raise. A small one, but a raise just the same, which for us, today of all days, is answer to prayer as well.

Perhaps, just maybe, hopefully, things are going to start to look up.

Swiped from Heather:

100 movies; bold the ones you've seen.

1 Godfather, The (1972)

2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)

3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)

4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)

5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)

6 Casablanca (1942)

7 Schindler's List (1993)

8 Shichinin no samurai (1954)

9 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)

10 Citizen Kane (1941)

11. Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope (1977)

12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

14 Rear Window (1954)

15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

17 Memento (2000)

18 Usual Suspects, The (1995)

19 Pulp Fiction (1994)

20 North by Northwest (1959)

21 Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain, Le (2001)

22 Psycho (1960)

23 12 Angry Men (1957)

24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

25 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)

26 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)

27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

28 Goodfellas (1990)

29 American Beauty (1999)

30 Vertigo (1958)

31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)

32 Pianist, The (2002)

33 Matrix, The (1999)

34 Apocalypse Now (1979)

35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

36 Some Like It Hot (1959)

37 Taxi Driver (1976)

38 Paths of Glory (1957)

39 Third Man, The (1949)

40 C'era una volta il West (1968)

41 Fight Club (1999)

42 Boot, Das (1981)

43 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)

44 Double Indemnity (1944)

45 L.A. Confidential (1997)

46 Chinatown (1974)

47 Singin' in the Rain (1952)

48 Requiem for a Dream (2000)

49 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)

50 M (1931)

51 All About Eve (1950)

52 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)

53 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

54 Se7en (1995)

55 Saving Private Ryan (1998)

56 Cidade de Deus (2002)

57 Raging Bull (1980)

58 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)

59 Rashomon (1950)

60 Sting, The (1973)

61 American History X (1998)

62 Alien (1979)

63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)

64 Leon (The Professional) (1994)

65 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

66 Vita bella, La (1997)

67 Touch of Evil (1958)

68 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)

69 Wo hu cang long (2000)

70 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)

71 Great Escape, The (1963)

72 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)

73 Reservoir Dogs (1992)

74 Annie Hall (1977)

75 Amadeus (1984)

76 Jaws (1975)

77 Ran (1985)

78 On the Waterfront (1954)

79 Modern Times (1936)

80 High Noon (1952)

81 Braveheart (1995)

82 Apartment, The (1960)

83 Sixth Sense, The (1999)

84 Fargo (1996)

85 Aliens (1986)

86 Shining, The (1980)

87 Blade Runner (1982)

88 Strangers on a Train (1951)

89 Duck Soup (1933)

90 Metropolis (1927)

91 Finding Nemo (2003)

92 Donnie Darko (2001)

93 Toy Story 2 (1999)

94 Princess Bride, The (1987)

95 General, The (1927)

96 City Lights (1931)

97 Lola rennt (1998)

98 Full Metal Jacket (1987)

99 Notorious (1946)

100 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)

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2:09 p.m.