April 21, 2003
blood and guts
My surgery is Thursday. I have to say I'm nervous. I'm nervous of the pain afterwards, and I'm nervous of the anesthesia. I don't want to throw up after, and I always have. I'm scared that I won't be completely under when they start. I suppose all of that is normal. I want Jay to be there, not my mother. We're not sure yet whether he will be able to. He has to use his normal days off for his own recovery, since his surgery is the day after. He's checking into his sick leave to see if he can take the day off for me, and still be paid. But I know that I will be bloody, and I will be shaky after being under, and frankly, my husband has been there and helped me afterwards, and so I know how he is in the sight of blood, pain, and an out of it Michele. My mother? Not so sure. But, I'll just have to make do.
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1:44 p.m.
