October 02, 2003

feeling more enthusiastic

With all the BS that's going on in my life right now, I realized something today. I'm calm. Because I have a calm environment. There have been about 4 nights when I just DID NOT want to do my FlyLady routine. But I self-talked my way through it. I told myself the truth. That I would berate myself for not doing it, calling myself a bad wife and mother, and tomorrow night it will be even worse, until it's such a mess I'll feel so overwhelmed that I paralyze myself. It's not worth it. So I did it. The self talk worked! I didn't make myself feel like a horrid woman! My house is still a calm place (if you don't count the toddlers running around). I was able to relax without thinking I was sacrificing something else. And best of all it only took about 20 minutes. It's so nice to create a haven.

I had my weigh in yesterday, and I lost 3 pounds. So I'm back on track as far as that goes. I'm glad of that. The scale was starting to do a creep back up. Not good. But I actually think it was also a combination of gaining muscle as well, and my metabolism and body shifting to deal with this newly active Michele. Perhaps it got the message! It was a big burst of ego for me. I'm not all the way down to my low before the creep up, but I'm only about 3 more pounds from that, and then I'll be losing "virgin" weight again.

All in all, even with everything going on, I'm feeling more enthusiastic about life.

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10:31 a.m.