April 18, 2003
organization needed here
I get to leave work at 1pm today. There's something about leaving and being out in the day, when you're not usually out, that feels naughty. And getting paid for naughty? Well, I guess I'm just a prostitute!I had grand plans to make cupcakes and frosting, and candy dots, and these little bunnies and Easter eggs. So this morning (the morning of the Easter party at daycare) Jay wakes me up and says, "You forgot to make the cupcakes". I burst into tears. My first mommy kid daycare bake sale party thing, and I forgot to make them! I started blubbering about what a terrible mother I am, and Jay hightailed it out to the grocery store. He bought decorated cupcakes, and then added my little Easter decorations. I love that man.
I have GOT to get more organized at home. It's a disaster zone. I should not have to walk the path that Joseph walks each night before I go to bed to make sure he can't trip in the dark when he climbs into bed with me. But I do. That's just wrong. I'm telling you, I'm ashamed for anyone else to see it. The kids want to see me when I get home, and it's only about 45 minutes before their bedtime, so I spend all that time with them. Then it's getting them ready. Then dinner for us, or me, depending on Jay's work schedule. By that time it's 9:30 or 10 and I'm pooped, and I just sit and vege in front of the TV or computer, or retire with a book. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. But it's very frustrating. I take my "role" as wife and mother very seriously. And Jay helps immeasurably. But, although I NEVER complain about it to him - if I want it done a certain way, I feel like I should do it, or keep my mouth shut and be grateful - I don't like the way he does things. Part of my problem is that I'm a perfectionist. Seriously. I'm very hard on myself as far as that goes. But I've noticed, I'm not a perfectionist with the kids, or with Jay. Just myself. Very odd if you ask me.
Anyway - I'll have a couple hours before the kids get home this afternoon, maybe I get a dent in on my weekend cleanup? Ha! We'll see.
