March 17, 2003

updates

Wow, so here I am. Little updates on everyone...

Jay is still working hard, and going to school. He was going to transfer to a different store, but when he talked to them about it, they alerted his boss (the reason for his transer) and he got his act together. Of course, it's already starting to slip again, so who knows if Jay will ever transfer, or just get totally fed up with his shenanagins. Is there a correct spelling to "shenanagins"? School is going well for him. He'll be finishing his first year in May, which means we've made it half way. Yay! He's doing well in it, and he's getting good marks.

Jay and I are "okay". We've been fighting a lot lately, which is highly unusual for us. I mean we debate things, and have different views on some things, but rarely do we argue out of annoyance with each other or each others' actions. But we have been lately. However we're done - at least for now - with the issue we were arguing about. He's going to do what he needs to do (which we agree about) and an incident on Saturday put it in perspective for us. I had to go to the DMV on Saturday morning to renew my Drivers' Liscense. I was definitely irritated with him, and we were being especially polite to each other. Which means we're fighting and don't want to do it in front of the kids, so we can't hash this out right now, but we need to. Lovely, all those unspoken things that go on in marriage. Anyway, here in California, it was raining cats & dogs. And I mean a lot. This weekend was record setting for rainfall in Los Angeles. The amount it rained in one 24 hour period was more than it rained here in the entire year last year. That's how much it rained. So I'm headed on my way in this nasty weather, because my liscense expires at the end of the month, and they only are open on Saturdays once a month, and this is it. So - I'm headed onto the freeway, uphill, when I spot a huge puddle at the last second before I hit it. I hydroplaned, started fishtailing, and then lost complete control of the car. I spun 4 times, went across the median (between the on-ramp & freeway, since I wasn't on the freeway yet) into oncoming traffic, still spinning, until my car stopped facing the wrong way on the actual freeway. Miraculously, I didn't hit anyone, noone hit me, they all saw me coming and stopped and waited. I pulled off on the left shoulder, hit the hazards, and breathed for a few minutes. Then I started on my way again. I didn't know what I should do other than that - since I didn't hit anything, I figured I didn't need to call the cops, since there wasn't an actual "accident". I got out my cell phone, called Jay, and started stuttering. He knew then that something was up, because I only stutter in times of acute distress, and asked if I was okay, I spit out what happened, and he talked me through pulling over on the side of the road again, and stopping, and found out where I was, and came out to me. When he got into the car, I started balling. Normally, I'm a nice quiet sniffler when I cry. Not that day - I was full on sobbing. It took a while for me to calm down, and Jay was just petting my head (which he knows I find comforting - must say that or it sounds like I'm a pet), and then he started crying (nice manly tears in the eyes that don't fall - not even a sniffle) when I told him what happened. He calmed me down, and checked out the car, since I went over the median. The car was fine, and I was fine, physically at least, and so I went on to the DMV and he went home.

I'm still sketchy about driving now.

The kids are doing well. Joseph isn't doing well with all this war talk. We can't have the news on anymore, because inevitably there will be a story on the possible war, which means they show someone in fatigues or tanks, or like last night, dead people in the street. Joseph sees them, or guns, or what-have-you, and asks me "They kill him Mommy?" The child isn't even 3 yet people. I told him they were sleeping, thank you very much. My mother told me I should probably tell him the truth, that bad people killed them. He has absolutely no concept of true death, and he doesn't need to at 2 years old! Not when he got up this morning and told me that "Logie" (his brother) died. We're just going to keep the news off at my house for now. He's trying to wrap his mind around this stuff, and he's simply too young to be able to do it (or NEED to do it for that matter). I've asked my parents to keep the news off when they're watching him. My mother said to just ignore his comments. I'm not going to treat those comments like I treat his gazilionth attempt at a cookie. It deserves a response that takes into account his sponge-like brain, and the fact that there are things going on in this world that have a huge impact on a young person like that. My mother also said I shouldn't shield him. You bet your ass I'm going to shield him. We're not talking about a 15 year old. My almost-3 year old needs to be shielded. And I'm the mommy. I get to make sure it happens. At least she and I agree on that point, if no other.

On a lighter note... Not to long ago, Joseph got to watch mommy put on pantyhose - and believe me, this is a rare sight indeed. Anyway, he's touching my leg that's encased, while I struggle with the other leg. He likes it, so he's rubbing both hands on it now - and getting his butt in on shimmy. He finishes his rubbing and says "ooooo mommy pletty (pretty)". So - I get them all the way on, and I'm about to put on my skirt, and Joseph is checking me out. He looks at my front, and he looks at my back end, he looks up at me and says, "Mommy! Where's your penis??"

I'm doing okay on Weight Watchers. I've lost almost 11 lbs. I have my next weigh in this Wednesday. I also joined Curves, which I really really enjoy. I can go during my lunch break, and I feel energetic afterwards, which I never felt before. Heard about, but not felt. I think I'm doing well in this arena. I'm down in size and everything. I was wearing a size 18 jeans, and I'm down to a 12. I can still wear the 14s I own, but they're getting too big, so I don't buy them, and the 12s fit fine. I'm starting a new page on my site to keep track as well, but it's not done yet.

My birthday is at the end of the month, and Jay and I are going to Las Vegas to celebrate. It will be our first vacation in 5 years - our first since our honeymoon. I can't tell you how much we're looking forward to this.

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1:40 p.m.