January 26, 2003
a list of complaints
I have some frustrations that I just have to get out before I lose it. That's what my journal is for right? I also have to ask you guys out there some questions, so if you want to skip the angst and go straight to the questions, they're at the bottom.I actually outlined what I wanted to get out. How anal is that?
We have a spider problem in this house. Now, they aren't biting us, or getting into our food, so it's not a health issue. Yet, at least. But it's gross, and I hate spiders, and it's gotten so bad, that I leave them alone now. It sounds so stupid, but I wonder if they're a little community like ants, and I'm afraid to piss them off. Especially since they seem to think this is their new home, and I don't want them to get all defensive on me. They're having babies! In places that create a nook, say where a wall meets another wall, or doorframe, they'll make a baby sack. And when it's "done," it'll eat through the little sack, leaving the sack there, with a little hole in it. Just today, I opened my portfolio (with paper in it, which I used to outline today's entry) and the process of opening it opened the sack, and out popped a baby spider. YUCK! I told my dad about it (he's our landlord) and of course, he downplayed it. He went so far as to say, "Well, there weren't any spiders when we cleaned the house and painted it. Terry (the previous tenant) never complained about it." Might I add that Terry was a complete slob, to the point of sloth, which is why my parents had to paint, and re-carpet. They even had to replace the fridge. It wasn't just regular, new tenant maintenance. May I also add that my father is the kind of man that when my mother complains that the car is making some kind of funny noise, it's in her head until he hears it himself. So, needless to say, he said "no" to the exterminator suggestion I made. So, any ideas of how to rid my house of these beasts? Is there some kind of spray? And if so, where do I put it? It's not like ants, where there's a line, and you can see where they are coming in. You also have to remember that I have two babies, so it can be something terribly toxic in the air. Any ideas?
My skin is breaking out somehow. They aren't zits. They're read bumps that look like mosquito bites, and as time goes on, they get raw, looks like there's two punctures, and itch like crazy, and when they heal, they scar. I've got them in a line under my breasts, where my bra goes, on my upper arms, my back, my tummy, and my upper thighs and hips. I know they aren't zits, and they act just like bug bites. Nobody in the house has them. This has been going on for several months, a new one a day when I wake up. But I'm not feeling bites in the middle of the night, nor can I find bugs, or bug carcasses in my bed (which has clean sheets) or my bedroom. This really has me itchy and bugged, if you'll pardon the pun. It's not impetigo, my husband's had that twice and knows what it looks like (he experience all kinds of yucky stuff in the marines). I don't think it's hives, although I'm not entirely sure what they look like, although it could be brought on by stress, which I know hives can be. Any suggestions?
I think (this isn't a rant, just a random thought) we have another church to try. I can't remember if I've mentioned it, so I'll mention it again. We've been trying to find a home church. We like the teachings of Calvary Chapel (a non-denominational Christian church with major emphasis on the Bible). But the two closest ones here we didn't like AT ALL. Most of the churches in our area are out. Mostly because they're statement of faith on their website doesn't mention some things that we feel are fundamental to our faith. The two major ones being that Jesus rose again, and some of the sites don't mention the Bible once in their sites at all, even in passing. But there was this one pastor that is on TV on Saturdays. I really liked his teaching style. Not once do they mention money, or giving support to the ministry, and when they do - that's always a red flag for me. It's more like, it's his regular sermon, and it's just televised for the benefit of more than just their congregation. So I looked up THEIR site, and I really liked what they had to say. Their statement of faith is right on to what we believe, there is a strong emphasis on Bible study, and they have a lot of ministry opportunities, and biblical educational, and church community opportunities. It's in West Covina which is a little farther than we really want to go, but truth is, they aren't THAT far. So, I think we'll try a visit next week. Who knows, maybe we'll, after a year and a half of looking, have a home church.
So here's our regular Sunday routine. Jay lets me sleep in. We're talking until nine, not the day away. Why? Because it's just me for the kids at night. I don't get much sleep, have to get up early on weekdays for work, and Saturdays are out, since Jay has school. I don't think it's a whole lot to ask. So this morning, Jay comes in, without letting me sleep in, when he gets home from school. No good morning, or wake up sweetie or anything. He just launches into "I have a proposition for you." He wants me to get up then, and let him go to sleep. Then I am supposed to wake him up at one when the kids are taking their naps, so I can take a shower and go to the grocery store, and be back in time to let him watch the superbowl. And then it will be over in time for him to help me bathe and put the kids to bed. So, What's wrong with this you ask? 1. I don't get to sleep in. 2. He gets to sleep. 3. I get the kids all day, with no break, so that he can watch the superbowl. 4. I'm to get him up at one which means 5 hours sleep, which means he's either a., not going to get up, or b., be an asshole about it all so that I can 5. Do more chores, yippee! 6. Then I get to watch the kids, while he watches the superbowl, during which time he will completely ignore me. 7. He'll help with the kids at night. For an hour. To bathe them. Uh huh. This consists of him getting in the tub. He plays with and washes them. I however, undress them (which they hate), bring them in, one a time. Then I get to remove them (which they hate), one at a time, from the bath that they love, dry them off (which they hate), dress them (which they hate), and put them to bed (which they hate), so that Jay's martyred self can dry off and dress. Uh huh. What a big help. Then, although he says he won't, but I'm always right about this stuff, he'll ask if he can take a nap before work, since he didn't get very much sleep. So someone tell me - doesn't a proposition usually mean give and take, both parties get something out of the deal??? What am I getting out of this deal? A little help with bathing the children, which would happen anyway. Someone to watch the kids while I shop, which he would probably sleep through and just leave the door open, leaving me to shop, load, unload, and put away the consumable items for 4 people. Oh, and don't forget the privilege of not getting to sleep in on the one day a week I try to get some sleep - but rarely get it anyway. I'm not seeing the plusses here. He acts like it's this great deal, and isn't he a great guy. I would not have been upset in the least about any of it had he come in and just said, "Could you get up, so I can get some sleep before the superbowl?" I know he loves football, and I know that today is a major deal for him. Therefore, I would have been fine, and gotten up, and just given him his day - no complaints, because it's a major interest of his, and we support each other's interests. Simple as that. Heck, I probably would have gone to the store and gotten him special treats! And I'll bet a million to one, he knows this. So now, I'm the bitch. I hate feeling this way. Now I feel martyred, and I shouldn't when I'm just doing household stuff that would need to be done anyway. But I'm ticked. And this doesn't happen very often, so I'm just going be ticked. And the thing that bothers me the most is, he doesn't get it.
I need a little help from you guys on a couple of things. First, I need a good quality digital camera, with a good deal, because we're on a strict budget.
Second, This journal is a little difficult for me. I don't have a lot of time, so when I do an entry, I manually change the HTML for that day, the day previous for the link, and the home page for the link, and then FTP all three files, and God forbid, I've edited anything else. Is there an easier way? Moveable type doesn't work, because I have AOL, and can't upload it into my FTP. Any ideas??
That's all.
