August 11, 2002
8/11
I am tired. Really tired. Not the "it's too early to get up" tired, or the "had a long day " tired. But the kind where you get up, realize that you have to do it all again today - and you simply don't want to face it - yet you do, because the kids don't care that you fall face first into their breakfast... As long as the breakfast is there... They'll eat around you head. For example, Logan decided to get up for good at 4am. yay. So, when Jay got home from work this morning, he let me go to bed to get some more sleep. Joseph came into the room while I was (trying) sleeping. He was sitting on my head, showing me toys, talking talking talking, and all the while, I was pretending to be asleep so he would get the picture. He didn't care about my response. He was with mommy. That's devotion. He finally went off to see daddy, and I was able to sleep for real. But when I got up at about 9:30, I was hurting, literally. My limbs hurt, my head hurt, my eyes hurt. But - Jay worked last night, and he needed to sleep too - and the kids were up. Does this ever end? Do you ever get enough sleep again in your lifetime once you become a parent??I've been busy trying to decide what needs to be done before I go to work. For example, the car needs to be serviced, and I don't even want to think about the transportation nightmare that would cause while I'm working. So we'll be doing that. Those kinds of things. They need to be done, and I've been putting them off. Well - can't do that anymore. You see, I'm a homebody. I hate going anywhere, and dealing with *shudder* people. Don't get me wrong, I like people. But I've noticed that customer service doesn't seem to exist anymore. Hey, I'm paying you money, don't be rude to me. I dont' need extra attention, I just want what I'm paying for, without the attitude. And since I'm liable to say something to you if you're rude to me, I'd rather just avoid the situation all together. Which is why Jay usually runs the errands. But Oh well. Guess my hibernation is over, and it's time to get back out into the real world. I've noticed that about me... I lose touch with the real world when I'm home with the kids. Don't get me wrong, it's tough to watch them, it's not like I'm in some perfect little world. It's just that I lose touch with the problems other people have. So I've started watching the news at least once a week. (Only that much, since Joseph watches what we do, and there are so many terrible things in the news that scare him like fires - he seems to think that the people in the tv are real, and he tries to help them through the screen, and it doesn't work, and it upsets him). Anyway - I'm rambling, a sure sign I'm tired.
I'm getting excited about my job. I'm supposed to feel guilty about it but I don't. I feel guilty about leaving the kids with someone though. But I'm excited about the thought of working with people who will understand what I'm saying. I'm curious if I'll accidently talk in short commanding sentences like with Joseph. "Go sit Couch!" "Bed Now!" "No Touch!" - he he. Can you just see my bosses face when I hand him his travel itinerary, and say, "Airplane" in a voice of wonder??
