February 27, 2002

2/27

Hmmm. I think I'm tired of being pregnant. I've just entered my 3rd trimester. I'm big and heavy, and am ready already. I also can't get rid of this cold. I think we're going on 3 weeks now. Maybe the baby is stealing all my "get better" stuff. As a result, I feel crummy all the time. PLEASE let this stupid cold go away.

By the way, I can't remember if I wrote it in here. But. I quit that telemarketing job. After 2 days. I'd have to say that's a record for me. I hated it - and I was AWFUL at it. I thought that I had found a new job, but I'm starting to think I was scammed. I didn't pay any money, I'm not that gullible anymore, but I've put a lot of work into this with no return. So, I think I was scammed. Again. Why is it so difficult for me to just get a job. We're going on about 6 months or so of looking for a job. More I think. This is awful. My parents want the money we owe them. I want groceries. It's a never ending cycle. A job would solve these problems. Even part-time. No one is going to hire me outside of the home right now. But I was thinking of going back to work outside of the home, after the baby is born. The problem is - 2 kids going into daycare. 2 daycare bills we cannot afford. Jay just simply cannot take care of the kids during the day. When Joseph was sleeping most of the day, it worked out well. Not anymore. I simply don't know what the answer is, and I'm getting desperate. I looked into things like WIC and foodstamps. But we don't qualify for one reason. Our car is worth too much. Our salary, etc. all qualifies. There is NO way I'm selling that car. We went through 2 cars that didn't work, and all the headaches that go with them before this car. We finally have one that works - and with Jay working nights, and soon to be 2 babies, there's no way I'm getting rid of the one reliable thing we own. I can't see any way out of this nightmare. How? I'm trying hard not to go into a full blown depression. Anyone have any ideas?

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12:54 p.m.