July 30, 2001
7/30
When I got online tonight (my regular "Joseph's in bed" wind down time), I was thinking how nice it would be to write a journal. Alas, my life as a housewife and mother doesn't exactly lead to titilating entries.Then I got "the email". The email I've been dreading since I moved here.
My in-laws are coming for a visit. IN TEN DAYS. My house is not decorated. I've finished a hallway, and a bathroom. Granted, those two things look simply fabulous... They came out better than I pictured them. I'm thrilled with them. But before my in-laws came for a visit, I wanted the house DONE. I know I shouldn't feel like I have to impress them. I know this. I know that it's petty and superficial. However. My mother-in-law has extremely high standards set for me, for her son. I want to live up to them. The fact that I don't is like telling the bull not to go for that pretty red scarf. My home is of particular interest. You see, my mother-in-law is an amature interior decorator. I don't say that with one ounce of derision. She really is - she just doesn't make money off of it. She played with starting a business, but then she just decided to keep it a hobby. So, I feel like I'll be under a great deal of scrutiny. Less than half of the house is done! The rest is in stacks and (horror of horrors), boxes!!!!!!!! I think, maybe, I can manage to get Joseph's room done in time. Maybe. I have all the ideas for that. But you had better believer I'll be like a bat out of hell for the next 10 days. I was thinking that they would give me at least a month's notice. But no. In addition to decorating, there will be that little detail of cleaning. You'll be able to eat of the top of the toilet, and you can count on that.
We worked really hard to get the funds to be able to move, to pay off our debts, to be able to afford a two bedroom place. It took sacrifice to be able for me to stay home... The loss of a paycheck, and living next door to my parents are nothing to sneeze at. However, through all that working hard, I usually cried myself to sleep, and there are probably STILL toothmarks in my toungue from biting it before I said something disrespectful to those parties aforementioned. Living with my in-laws was no picnic.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
I have to get as much of the house done as I can. You see, there's a pride thing here. Yes, I believe pride is wrong. But - and this is simply past experience talking here - I do NOT need to have any weaknesses showing.
Believe me.
